Two Months!

I just read my one month post and laughed out loud.  I'm not sure if it was the adrenaline still pumping or that the exhaustion hadn't set it yet, but my ignorance was bliss!!  I wanted with all of my heart to believe (and did believe) that he was ready for a 3 hour set schedule and sleeping in the crib.  That was definitely not the case.  One of my problems is that I remember how Caroline ended up.  I remember that she was on a three hour schedule and that she napped so nicely in her crib.  What I don't remember is how we got there.  Caroline was a really easy baby, but things got tough at some points.  I remember listening to her cry and Jason and I keeping each other from going in there with her.  I also remember crying while she cried or calling Leslie and telling her that she had been crying for 30 minutes and what to do now.  So things weren't perfect, but we block out the hard stuff so that we'll be willing to do it again!

When I took Cam to the doctor for his two week check  up, I told the doctor that I thought he had reflux.  You could hear it, you could feel it, and he spit up so much and you could tell that it hurt.  He told me that he hesitated doing anything that early.  So I went home and continued to deal with a baby that was painfully spitting up a lot.  Over the next few weeks, he would spit up all the time and had trouble staying asleep for naps. I racked my brain trying to figure out what it was that kept him from sleeping well.  Did he need to be swaddled or did his hands need to be out?  Did he need white noise or music?  Was he too hot or too cold?  Was it took dark or too light?  Was it the kind of bottle we used? I just knew that there was something I was doing to keep him from sleeping well. (Why does mom guilt have to be so strong and so terrible?!) THANKFULLY, he always did pretty well at night.  The day was just rough.  Mornings usually went smoothly, but the afternoons from about 1 - 8 were just a fight.  He would be so tired and go right to sleep when I put him down, but then wake up 10 minutes later and just fuss and fight.  The crib did not work out at 4 weeks (that is so young now that I am a few weeks out from that!), so we started putting him to sleep in our Fisher Price Rock 'N Play.  We used that in our room at night to keep him kind of upright since I suspected reflux.  He slept well at night, so I figured he would sleep ok in it during the day.  So I would just move the Rock 'N Play to his room for naps to help him get used to it.  And this was how my life was for a few weeks.  Good morning naps (enough for me to pump and shower), eating ravenously every two hours or so, and then ROUGH afternoons. I tried everything - going in, putting his paci back in, staying out, listening to him cry and crying with him, putting in my head phones and timing how long I would let him cry, etc.  NOTHING WORKED.  He would sleep for 20 minutes or so and then wake up screaming.  If I went and got him he was fine, but I was not ok with a 20 minute nap and then having to stretch him to eat again.  I knew he needed to sleep longer to get good, restful sleep.

So, Jason would come home after being at work all day, bless his heart, and I would be a stressed out, crying mess.  I had listened to my baby cry all afternoon and hadn't been able to do anything for him.  Jason would take Cam and tell me to go give Caroline a bath or he would bring dinner home so I didn't have to worry about cooking anything.  He helped me any way he possibly could and would often just make me stop, give me a hug and a kiss, and tell me that I was doing a great job.  I don't know what I would have done without him!

When Cam was 6 weeks old Jason had a bye week.  So, we loaded up with the car with both kids and both dogs and headed to Jacksonville for a long weekend.  I was dreading it because I knew he wouldn't sleep and then we would be in someone else's house bothering them.  I talked to myself on the way down and decided that I was just going to have to go with the flow because we weren't at home and he didn't really have a solid flow any way.  For some reason, he did great!  He slept great naps and was just as happy as a clam.  It was awesome for that weekend because we were able to go out just the two of us and I didn't feel bad leaving the kids with Grammie and Grandpa.  Jason was a lot of help and it ended up being a good weekend.

When we got back I thought we had turned a corner and were going to have great naps.  Not so much.  I knew it was possible, so I got even more frustrated.  Finally, the day Cam turned 7 weeks old, I called my doctor and talked to a triage nurse. I told her about his projectile spit up, trouble napping, and his overall discomfort.  After 5 minutes of taking information she sent me to an appointment scheduler because she said we needed to be seen that day.  We went in a couple of hours later and walked out with a prescription for Zantac.  Hallelujah!  What I had known 5 weeks earlier was verifiied.

I knew that was going to be the fix I had been praying for.  This would stop him from hurting and let him take good naps.  So that night we put him to bed and I had a renewed hope for the days ahead.  We woke up the next morning and naps went great (as they had been).  I put Caroline in the bed for a nap about 1 and Cam down for a nap right after.  I was washing dishes and I thought that I might actually get a nap that day.  There was my big mistake right there!  AS SOON as I laid down after getting things cleaned up - screaming.  And screaming and screaming.  I would go in and give him his paci and he would be quiet for about 2 minutes and then scream again.  I finally put my headphones in and went into our bedroom across the house.  I texted Jason and I Leslie and just wanted someone to tell me how to fix it.  They both told me that it would take time for the medicine to kick in and that I just needed to stay in our room to see if maybe he would fall asleep.  I decided I needed a nap and he was in a safe place and he would be ok if he just cried for a while.  As soon as I started to drift off (once my mind quite racing) - Caroline was beside me.  No nap for me.  I cried again.  I went and got him after a while and fed him and just went on with what I could do.  Jason eventually got home and I was a mess.  I was supposed to go to Wilmington on Sunday (this was Wednesday), so Jason texted my mom and asked her to call me and tell me to come down the next day.  I resisted initially because I hate asking for help or admitting that I need help, but I knew that I needed all that I could get.

So, the next day I loaded the kids up and we headed to Wilmington.  This was SUCH a great week because I had a lot of help all day long, Cam did some crying there so I knew it wasn't me, and Mom would tell me to get out of the house or go somewhere quiet to take a nap so that I could get some sleep and get myself back together.  She also took him at night a few times to give me a full night sleep.  Deddy and Jeffro helped, too, and were glad to take him and talk to him or feed him for me.  I am so glad that Jason helped me see that I needed some help!

When we got home I was determined to figure all of this out.  Cam had been on medicine for about 10 days and he was 8 weeks old.  He would be fine to leave crying for a while.  I happened to be scrolling through Facebook and found a video about a 'baby whisperer' and how she gets babies to sleep.  It was like a light bulb went off.  It was what we had been doing, but not all together.  That afternoon I put him down for his first nap in his crib doing what this lady said.  He took a solid hour long nap.  I didn't hold my breath.  I put him down for his next nap and he slept for a couple of hours.  There I had it - he was in his crib and sleeping!
Since then, he has slept every nap and every night in his crib.  We swaddle him and play white noise or rain the loudness of a vaccuum.  The mornings have been great (like they always have been) and he has been sleeping through the night for the past week.  We feed him around 11 and he doesn't get up until around 5.  Not too shabby for a 2 month old!  The afternoons are still a fight.  He has been on his medicine for almost 2 weeks, so I know he isn't hurting.  His spit up is a lot less painful and it is not projectile any more.  He can still soak a burp cloth, but he is doing better.  So this week, I am starting full out Baby Wise.  I am putting him down for his nap, swaddled and safe, and I am letting him cry.  I am not putting his paci back in, I am not rocking him.  None of that is helping, so he is going to have to cry himself to sleep so he can learn how to put himself back to sleep when he wakes up.  The end result will be much better sleep for him and a lot less stress for me.

I used to think people were sick when they hurt little babies for just crying, but I can understand why.  I am lucky enough to have a fantastic support system and the sense to leave him in his crib crying if I am getting frustrated.  A baby that doesn't sleep for hours a day and just cries and cries is extremely frustrating!  I know as he gets older, things will only get better!

Now on to the two month stats:

• He weighs 13 pounds!  Even with all of his spitting up, he is still gaining plenty of weight!
• He had a six week and an eight week growth spurt that ran together.  Part of his screaming and 20 minute naps did come from him being hungry.  He would down an entire bottle, only to be hungry an hour and a half to two hours later.  It was exhausting.
• He is still in size 1 diapers and size 3 clothes.  The 3/6 month and 6 month clothes aren't far away!  His toes are getting tight!
• When he is up and has a full belly, he is such a happy baby!  He smiles all the time now and is talking to all sorts of things!  He will talk to people if you get him going and he loves sitting in his bouncy seat and talking to the animals he can see.  Talking always makes him spit up if he gets super excited!
• He is totally sleeping in his crib.  He takes about 6 naps a day and sleeps up to 6 hours at night!  Getting good chunks of sleep at night is making this mama feel more normal every day!
• He had a Wonder Week that was all about his brain linking to the movements of his body.  All though he can't grab things yet, his hands have opened up and he is starting to swat at things.  When he is in his bouncy seat his legs and feet are just a movin'!
• His skin is still a hot mess in places.  He has eczema on his arms and legs, acne on his face, and cradle cap on his scalp. Hopefully, those will figure themselves out as he gets older, too!
• One of my very favorite things that he does right now is nuzzling.  When he has just eaten, or if I go in a get him out of the crib and pat his back pretty hard, he will move his head back and forth on my shoulder until he gets in the very nook of my neck.  I can feel him breathing on me and feel his eyelashes if he is blinking.  In those moments, all of the tough times and frustrations go away and I am so lucky to be this sweet boys mama!