Things I Have Learned

A few things I have learned in these first two months of being the mom of two sweet babies:

1.  Going from one child to two is NO JOKE.  I knew it would be hard, but I figured if you have done it once, you can do it a million times.  That is so far from the truth it isn't even funny.  A second kid doesn't just double the work, it is about 100 times the work.  And I'm not even totally sure why.  There have been a few times that Cam has been screaming, Caroline has been crying, the dogs are on my nerves and I have just started laughing hysterically.  I try really hard to find the humor in it all, because I really don't want to be the crying girl all the time - that is not a good look.

2.  When you bring babies into this world, it is so important to have a good support system.  When it is the middle of the night and you just can't be awake for one more second, it is so amazing to have someone that will tell you to lay down and they take the baby so that you can sleep.  I can't say enough about Jason and all that he has done.  I know they are his kids, too, but he comes home from work and jumps in with 100% effort with both kids.  He does everything I need for him to do and he some how knows exactly what it is that I need for myself.  Caroline and Camden - I want you to know how amazing your Daddy is.  I wouldn't be able to do what I do without him.  I also can't say enough about my parents and Jason's parents and how great they have been.  They come up to Winston to help out and are always ready for us to come to Jacksonville or Wilmington any time we want (or need!).  I have also had lots of calls and texts from friends just checking in to see how things are going.  When you are doing the same thing day in and day out and don't have much adult conversation, those texts and calls mean the world!

3.  It is important to admit when you need help.  This is not one that I do well, but when you have a baby that is screaming for the third nap in a row for you can't even remember how many days in a row - you need some help.  You need to be able to tag some one else in so that you can go somewhere that you can't hear the crying to give yourself a break.  Even when the baby isn't crying and everyone is happy, you are still taking care of other lives.  You still need to get out of the house by yourself or have someone watch the kids so that you can take a nice, long, hot shower!

4.  Back to the 'once you have done it once' thing - just because you have gotten one child out of diapers doesn't mean that you know jack squat about what the second kid will want or need.  My first instinct is to do what we did for Caroline because that is all I know, but just about every time Cam is pretty quick to let us know that he is not Caroline!  I know this is a lesson that I will learn MANY times over through their lives, so I might as well start learning it now!

5.  The idea of having a baby in the house and the reality of it can be two very different things.  Caroline said the other day, 'Cam cries a lot.  I still like him, but he cries a lot.'  After two months, she is a lot less willing to help and a lot less interested in what he does.  He doesn't do much but cry and take away our attention, so I'm sure I'd be over that pretty quickly, too.  I know she will begin to really enjoy him when he can do stuff and she can interact with him.  Even I remembered the sweet times of Caroline being little, but didn't quite hold on to the times she was screaming or pooping on me or how annoying washing those bottles would get.

6.  I am so very lucky to get to take all twelve weeks of maternity leave.  The end is coming up in a little over 3 weeks (yikes!) and while I may get overwhelmed or just exhausted - I wouldn't trade this time for anything in the world.  I some times wish I was back at work at lunch having adult conversation, but I know that once I am back I am going to long for these days of doing nothing but taking care of my babies.  I am going to miss seeing that smile on Cam's face when he is full and in a good mood.  I am going to miss doing 'projects' with Caroline and sitting down to eat lunch with her and having our 'conversations' about whatever it is she wants to talk about that day.

7.  On Facebook and social media in general, people like to put their best foot forward.  I am guilty of this.  I will take 15 pictures and chose the one that looks the happiest.  I don't take pictures when Caroline is on the floor throwing a fit or Cam is screaming for the umpteenth hour.  It's because no one wants to remember those things and no one wants other people to know how hard our life can get.  That is why I thought it was important to add all of this to this blog.  I don't want to remember how hard these days have been, but it is part of my life.  It is part of our story and everyone else is fighting their own battle every day, too.  Honesty can be a good thing!

8.  Through all of the frustration and tears these first two months have brought, there has also been so much joy.  The way Cam came into this world I should have known that nothing with him was going to be easy!  But when he smiles at me and those eyes squint up, there is nothing like that feeling.  And when I am holding Cam after feeding him and Caroline crawls in to my lap and says, 'I know you like holding your two babies,' I feel like the luckiest person in this world.  I love everything about this sweet life that I get to live.  I am still very much in love with my very best friend and I have two of the best things that we could have ever asked for.  Life is most certainly good.