Parenthood

A few months ago, before I had Caroline, my sister told me about a blog that is written by a guy that she works with.  He is a chaplain supervisor around town and is the parent of a little girl.  I LOVE this blog and wanted to share it with all of my friends that have kids and are on the verge of having kids.  These are the types of things he writes that makes me so excited when I see that he has posted something new.

 

'Being a parent means being completely responsible and completely powerless at the same time.  It's like juggling eggs while playing dodgeball.  I can't reasonably protect her from everything in the world, right?  But I still have to try.  It's exhausting and, frankly, scary as hell.'

 

This sentence sums up parenthood to me in such a real way.  You have things that you think about daily that are both rational and irrational.  Rationally you think, 'I need to get her away from that table that has a sharp corner on it.'  Irrationally you think, 'What if she is in there taking a nap and someone crawls through her window and takes her and I don't know.'  Then I get up and go check on her and she is drooling and dreaming away.

 

Through talking to people that have been parents for a long time and through reading this blog, I have figured out that when you love some thing and someone as much as you love your child, you are going to have a fear of losing them that is equal to that love (as hard as you try not to).  You hear too many scary stories about people losing children and as a parent, nothing could be scarier or more painful.  I work very hard at not being consumed with this fear.  I try to keep myself as rational as possible and focus on the love part of having a child and not so much of the fear part.

 

When I think about how much I love my child, it helps me to understand just a little bit better when I hear that God loves me and all of us like a child.  It's crazy how something so little can change your perspective so much!