We’re getting our baby!

I know that doesn’t look like much in there, but what we have is a kidney bean with a little flickering heart!  164 beats per minute to be exact!!

So how it all happened – without all the dirty stuff!
They tell you to wait until you’ve had two periods after a miscarriage before you start trying again.  Well after my first one we said, ‘You know what, I’m tired of thinking and worrying about it.  Let’s just stop thinking and worrying about it and see what happens.’  So we did.  Our summer was getting into full swing and we did what needed to be done and stopped worrying about it.  The week after my beach trip with my girls, it was time to check it out and see what was going on.  I was already a few days late, but I just wasn’t sure.  So I took a pregnancy test on Monday and got a faint line.  Maybe it was just too soon.  Took another test on Tuesday and got a faint line.  Maybe it needed to be in the morning.  Took another test on Wednesday and there was a faint line.  (That sounds obsessive and like I was worrying about it now that I write it, but it seemed totally rational at the time!)  So I figured if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d get my period.  It is now 8 weeks since my last period and no period yet!  There must be something going on in there.

Last time I made it to 6 weeks and 6 days.  You better bet your heart that on my 6 weeks and 6 days this time, I was nervous.  Every tweak and twinge I just knew was starting the badness.  I walked around all day squeezing my boobs and making sure they still hurt.  Sorry if that is TMI.  Yep, they still hurt. 

I made my appointment for 8 weeks and some change so that I would be able to hear a heartbeat and feel 1000 times better.  No need to go in any earlier when they can’t tell you anything.  So Saturday leading up to the appointment I had a complete freak out.  I wasn’t having heartburn as bad and my boobs didn’t hurt as bad as they had been.  That was it.  It was all over.  I sobbed and sobbed and my sweet, sweet husband was right there telling me I was crazy and that he was sure the extra stress would not be helpful on the BABY that was in there!  We finally got up and headed to dinner and I was back to myself in no time.

I never thought Monday at 2:10pm would get there.  Sunday drug on like nobody’s business and I didn’t sleep a wink Sunday night.  Monday morning I woke up and immediately called Leslie.  I headed over to her house and was able to be distracted by Anna and a great Skype with our cousin, Kristin, who lives in Minnesota and had been a little detective all the way up there!  Finally it was time for me to head home.
I took a shower and got ready to go.  I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up at any second.  I was ultra talkative and I think Jason knew to just keep on going and don’t stop and ask me about it.  Neither of us needed another freak out!

We got there and had to wait.  Dear God – how can you make us wait at a time like this!  After what felt like forever (but I'm sure it was 10 minutes) we finally went back there.  Our NP (Leslie’s favorite) was AWESOME.  She said everything felt good and looked like it needed to.  She knew we needed to hear that heartbeat to be able to get through the next 4 weeks, so she tried with the Doppler and nothing, which was not unusual this early.  She then told us that she was going to sneak us into the ultrasound room because there was a little bit of a break.  She warned me that once the tech heard something I had to get out quick!  So not even putting my underroos back on under my dress we quickly were whisked to the ultrasound room.  We were lucky enought to get the same tech that was with us the last time.  She popped me up on the table, squirted the lube on my belly and started a-searching.  And there it was.  The most beautiful tiny like kidney bean with a flickering heart.  164 beats a minute.  And with that, she cleaned me up, I put my roos back on and out we went.  We had what we came for.

Since we have made it to 8 weeks and saw a heart beat, there is a 95% change of this one making it.  The next hurdle is twelve weeks and after that the percentage goes up even more!

Through all of this I have learned several things -

#1 – Be sure you marry a man who is going to be willing to hold you when you are sobbing uncontrollably for a complete irrational reason.  They may ask you later to explain, but they know just to hold you no matter what.

#2 – As our NP said, ‘If you don’t get what you want, sometimes you just have to cheat!’

#3 – I had no idea that something that itty bitty and tiny could make me so happy!  I can’t wait to see what this watermelon does when it pops out of me!

#4 – Even after a miscarriage and me being so afraid that it would never be the same again – it is.  I am just as excited, if not more so because this one is sticking.  It was just as exciting when we called the whole world and Jason and I are just as excited about being parents to this little bean.  We know we are not out of the muck yet, but we are staying positive.  We are going to believe that the first one didn’t stick around for a reason and that this is ours.  Here’s to keeping your fingers crossed and praying with all you’ve got that this one sticks around until he’s ready to come out and meet us!

#5 – Doing everything right is apparently boring.  With this little bean I have ridden roller coasters in Disney World, drank with my college roommates for a week, been to the beach and body surfed in some pretty big surf, and hung out at a Tim McGraw concert.  This bean thinks he’s already at a party!

#6 – We are so not in control.  Everything does happen for a reason and everything ends up working out like it’s supposed to.  Now this bean is going to have a cousin in October (Jeffro and Johnna) and another one in February (Leslie + Will)!!!!  I could not be more excited to be pregnant with all of the fam and be apart of watching this family grow!  We knew once this family started growing, it wouldn’t stop!!